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Thursday, June 30, 2011

"To Catch A Predator" Host Chris Hansen Caught On Video Cheating On His Wife.


Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Sorry, let me catch my breath. Bottom feeding tabloid TV host Chris Hansen was busted on video by the National Enquirer stepping out on his wife with a woman over twenty years younger. Now, in most cases people wouldn’t care but when you’re famous for busting pervs on video the irony is so sweet it makes my teeth ache. Hansen probably has a new understanding of the saying “Live by the sword, die by the sword.”
Kristyn Caddell
"Not Mrs. Hansen"
Click the woman who is not Mrs. Hansen for coverage from the Daily Mail.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dallas Legoland Gets Life Sized Lego Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron Gets Nothing, Weeps.

Lego Dirk

The statue is about seven feet tall, made from between 25,000-30,000 lego blocks and took approximately 3,000 hours to build. "It took three people to lift him up," said Legoland spokeswoman Elysa Nelson.

Full story @ ESPN.

New “The Dark Knight Rises” Promo Pic

Batman & Robin
If this newly released promo shot is any indication it looks like director Christopher Nolan is taking the Batman franchise in a whole new direction in “The Dark Knight Rises”. I’m not so sure he can pull this off but it couldn’t be any worse than Joel Schumacher’s “Batman & Robin”.

Monday, June 27, 2011

I Don’t Understand the Japanese Sometimes II–Poop Meat (Please God Let This Be A Hoax).

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  Supposedly a Japanese scientist named Mitsuyuki Ikeda from the Okayama Laboratory has developed a way to extract usable protein from fecal matter. Add a little steak sauce and soy for texture, run it through the prof’s magic machine and presto! “Beef” or at least what they claim resembles beef in form and taste. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 

Fox News

International Business Times

Article from The Stranger claiming it’s a hoax.

“Thanks” to C.W. for the tip.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Does Justice Prosser Have To Choke A B*tch?

Justice Prosser keepin' his pimp hand strong

Wisconsin Supreme Court justice David Prosser who narrowly won and close reelection bid  has been accused by several sources of grabbing fellow justice Ann Walsh Bradley by the neck during a heated argument in her chambers last week. Prosser denied the allegation in a statement released to the press:
"Once there's a proper review of the matter and the facts surrounding it are made clear, the anonymous claim made to the media will be proven false. Until then I will refrain from further public comment."
Prosser had previously admitted to calling Justice Shirley Abrahamson a "bitch" and threatened to "destroy" her during a closed-door meeting.
Justice Ann Walsh Bradley


Justice Bradley responded to Prosser’s denial saying:
"You can try to spin those facts and try to make it sound like I ran up to him and threw my neck into his hands, but that's only spin.”
Much like all Wisconsin politics as of late this story is garnering national attention. Hang on folks, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
Additional Coverage:
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
New York Times
USA Today

Saturday, June 25, 2011

You’re Never Too Old For The Mugshot Roundup!

Arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, criminal damage, and endangerment.

Click either of these elderly gangstas for this week’s mugshot roundup from The Smoking Gun.

Arrested for assault, trespass.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Rob Zombie’s Woolite Commercial


I’m really not sure what this says about the state of Rob Zombie’s career. From White Zombie to “House of 1,000 Corpses” to …Woolite?!! This has to be the most “interesting” pairing in detergent commercial history. A little retro Zombie just because…

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I Don’t Understand The Japanese Sometimes

Konapun is a term for the manufacture of really tiny, semi-realistic looking and completely inedible food in a tiny kitchen using tiny utensils. I’ll admit the process is kind of cool in a way (the tiny “deep fryer” makes some realistic looking french fries) but I don’t really get the point. More konapun videos HERE. [via CrunchGear]

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Proof That Prayers Do Get Answered Sometimes.




Katy Perry is on the cover of the current Rolling Stone.
"I started praying for [breasts] when I was, like, 11, she says. "And God answered that prayer above and beyond, by, like, 100 times…" 
Yes Katy, yes he did.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Superintendent Proposes Turning Schools Into Prisons To Get More State Funding.

Ithaca MI schools superintendent Nathan Bootz has written on open letter to Michigan Governor Rick Snyder proposing that his schools be made into prisons so state funding will increase from $7,000 per pupil per year to $40,000 per inmate per year. The full text of the letter below:

 

Dear Governor Snyder,

In these tough economic times, schools are hurting. And yes, everyone in Michigan is hurting right now financially, but why aren’t we protecting schools? Schools are the one place on Earth that people look to to “fix” what is wrong with society by educating our youth and preparing them to take on the issues that society has created.

One solution I believe we must do is take a look at our corrections system in Michigan. We rank nationally at the top in the number of people we incarcerate. We also spend the most money per prisoner annually than any other state in the union. Now, I like to be at the top of lists, but this is one ranking that I don’t believe Michigan wants to be on top of.

Consider the life of a Michigan prisoner. They get three square meals a day. Access to free health care. Internet. Cable television. Access to a library. A weight room. Computer lab. They can earn a degree. A roof over their heads. Clothing. Everything we just listed we DO NOT provide to our school children.

This is why I’m proposing to make my school a prison. The State of Michigan spends annually somewhere between $30,000 and $40,000 per prisoner, yet we are struggling to provide schools with $7,000 per student. I guess we need to treat our students like they are prisoners, with equal funding. Please give my students three meals a day. Please give my children access to free health care. Please provide my school district Internet access and computers. Please put books in my library. Please give my students a weight room so we can be big and strong. We provide all of these things to prisoners because they have constitutional rights. What about the rights of youth, our future?!

Please provide for my students in my school district the same way we provide for a prisoner. It’s the least we can do to prepare our students for the future...by giving our schools the resources necessary to keep our students OUT of prison.

Respectfully submitted,

Nathan Bootz
Superintendent
Ithaca Public Schools

From the Gratiot County Herald [via MetaFilter]

“Mommy's Miracles” – Day Care Center & Recreational Marijuana Dispensary – Nice Combo!

A Milwaukee day care center called Mommy’s Miracles was raided my the MPD who found weed, baggies and a digital scale but no children. I imagine the kids were at Open Pantry picking up Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Full story HERE.

Weird Al’s “Perform This Way” Parody Of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”

Need I say more?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Mugshot Bonanza–With Zombies!


WTSP.com has a 270 pic long mugshot extravaganza for your enjoyment. It’s from Florida so you know they’re good! via [Fark]

Why Is This Man So Happy? Because It’s Mugshot Roundup Time Again!

Arrested for aggravated domestic abuse.

Click the finely braided felon above for this week’s mugshot roundup from The Smoking Gun.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Metallica Monopoly On Sellout, Oops! I Mean “Sale” Tomorrow.

image
From Metallica.com:
“Game pieces include the Kill 'Em All hammer, ...And Justice For All scales, St. Anger fist, Black Album snake, ninja star, and the 'Jump in the Fire' demon. Land on one of the "Binge and Purge" or "Jump in the Fire" spaces and be rewarded or fined in true Metallica form. "You won't believe the price you'll pay!”
No word on a Metal Up Your Ass game piece…

Chris Wolak’s LeBron James Joke


LeBron James is driving home after a game and he’s pretty hungry so he decides to stop at a McDonalds and get something to eat.
He walks up to the counter and orders three Quarter Pounders with cheese. The girl behind the counter smiles and says “We have a great special going on, if you buy three you get one free”
LeBron looks at her and shakes his head “No thanks, I always choke on the fourth.”

I like The Way They Riot In Vancouver

image

What rioting Canadians might look like.

 

Via [The Globe and Mail]

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Samuel L. Jackson Reads the Audio Book Version Of “Go The F**k To Sleep”


The best children’s book ever just got even better…

UPDATE: Audible.com has had the video taken down (they own the rights to the audiobook version). If I can find another version I'll post it.

UPDATE 2: Working video (for the moment) HERE.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Meth Really Has Reached Every Corner Of The Country

via WTC (NSFW)

Eyelid Tattoos Strike Back…

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Because everyone seems to love the eyelid tattoos…

As If Things Couldn’t Get Worse For Anthony Weiner…

Anthony Weiner Action Figure (herobuilders.com)_20110613074414_JPG

Herobuilders.com is offering an “anatomically correct” Anthony Weiner action figure. The figure is wearing shorts that read “Tweet This” and you can accessorize him with a mini-Blackberry. Full story from myfoxdc.com.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Rapture Guru Harold Camping Suffers Stroke. I’ll Bet He Didn't See That Coming.

The 89 year old doomsayer has been hospitalized after he apparently suffered a stroke on his right side Thursday night. Click on the pic of the Rapture monger for coverage from the Oakland Tribune.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

WTF Spain?

First it’s the running of the bulls now it’s Rapa das Bestas which is apparently some sort of horse wrestling/grooming/branding festival where “People gather all the untamed horses in a corral, where men and women of all ages wrestle them to the ground with their bare hands to cut their manes and tales [sic] out and brand them.”

More pics HERE and HERE.

My New Favorite Music Video!

It’s A Mugshot Roundup Twofer This Week!

Arrested for larceny, obtaining property by false pretense.

The Smoking Gun may be getting back on their Friday roundup schedule so it looks like we get two collections of America’s finest citizens this week. Click on the fine example of South Carolinian manhood above for the full roundup.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Awwwwww Yeah!!!! Whoop, Whoop!


It’s time once again for the infomercial of the year! Yes, the long awaited, long-form commercial for the 2011 Gathering of the Juggalos! This isn’t a joke, this isn’t an SNL parody, this the real deal. 27 minutes of killer clown WTF. Bonus: Vanilla Ice made-up as a space alien! If you don’t know what The Gathering is the official site is HERE.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Weiner Admits To Tweeting Weiner.

A photo Democrat Representative Anthony Weiner reported sent to Meagan Broussard ABCNews
Weiner

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) admitted to sending inappropriate messages and pictures to a young female admirer saying “The picture was of me and I sent it”. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! I’m not shocked that a married politician would send inappropriate messages and photos to young women, I’m shocked that he admitted it…
Weiner's Weiner

Additional coverage:
Time
CNN
LA Times

Surprise! When Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Says They Have a “No Texting” Rule–They F’n Mean It!

Below is a voicemail from an angry customer who was ejected from a movie, after two warnings and without a refund, for violating the cinema’s no texting policy.

Classic. I wish more theaters were like Alamo Drafthouse Cinema…

Full story HERE. [Via MetaFilter]

What Time Is It? It’s Mugshot Roundup Time!

Arrested for operating while under the influence, violating license restrictions

Click on the saucy little blue-haired minx above for the latest mugshot roundup from The Smoking Gun.com.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Hate Myself For Liking This Podcast So Much…



Stand-up comedians, and rape cottage denizens, Jim Jefferies and Eddie Ifft have what has to be one of the most offensive comedy podcasts available on the internet. No decent person should listen to them. I can’t stop…
Official Site
iTunes
Stitcher
Facebook

Chinese Teen Sells Kidney To Get An iPad 2. Zombie Jobs Curious What He’d Take For His Liver, Braaaains....


A 17 year old Chinese boy sold one of his kidneys for just over $3,000 so he could buy an iPad 2, an iPhone and a laptop. Talk about effective marketing! Click intense Steve for the story from cnet.
Additional Coverage:
ZDNet
International Business Times via Fark
 

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